I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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