Im at strip club and am horny
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
