brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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