I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
