she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
