somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
