No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
