You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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