What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
