Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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