literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
