Cold hands, warm shart.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize