return my video game
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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