you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
