I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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