My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
do herpes really smell.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
