I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize