I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
