these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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