I don't think brook has ever known best
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
