I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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