Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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