Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
