You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
