i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
