This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
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We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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