evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
