The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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