Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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