every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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