I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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