My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Quick, to the slutcave!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
