that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
