So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
