How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
