My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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