piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
