What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
