I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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