never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
