I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
