the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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