we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
