South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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