Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
