last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
