when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
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Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize