He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
