What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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