She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
