so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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