I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize