kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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