Your face is a jimmy john
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
