Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Hippo gnu deer
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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