I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize