she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
