if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
