return my video game
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
