You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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