they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
