u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
