My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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