If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
