Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
