We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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