please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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