Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
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She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
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Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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