she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
