I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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