I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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