I wanna passion pit in your ass
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
